{"id":21,"date":"2010-10-04T15:24:04","date_gmt":"2010-10-04T22:24:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hotnerdgirl.wordpress.com\/?p=21"},"modified":"2024-02-27T07:49:47","modified_gmt":"2024-02-27T07:49:47","slug":"what-i-need-to-survive-the-zombie-apocalypse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/2010\/10\/04\/what-i-need-to-survive-the-zombie-apocalypse\/","title":{"rendered":"What I need to survive the zombie apocalypse"},"content":{"rendered":"
Even as a Zombie, I can still work an iPhone... Girls are smarter than boys, even when we're undead \ud83d\ude42<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

What do you give a girl who\u2019s biggest fear is zombies?<\/p>\n

Why, two Samurai swords, of course!<\/p>\n

You may have read any number of zombie survival guides.\u00a0 I know I have.\u00a0 Because hey, the zombie apocalypse could TOTALLY happen.\u00a0 I have nightmares about it.\u00a0 I had one particular nightmare a while back: I was walking down the aisle of the church and everything seemed to be fine.\u00a0 Just as I reached the altar, zombies started swarming into the church.\u00a0 I was literally fighting zombies in a wedding dress with a candelabrum.\u00a0 This got me thinking.\u00a0 What do I really want\/need in the event zombies start to take over our planet?\u00a0 Here is the list I came up with:<\/p>\n

– Two Japanese swords (katana and tachi \u2013 although I would totally take a couple of tsurugi\u2019s)<\/p>\n

– Some grenades (in case I get surrounded)<\/p>\n

– One really good pair of running shoes (uhm, self-explanatory)<\/p>\n

– Five ponytail holders (in case some get lost and because rubber bands are really damaging to your hair)<\/p>\n

– One water resistant watch (in case of rain, we all know zombies are impervious to water)<\/p>\n

– One really amazing sports bra (YOU try running around with 34DD\u2019s)<\/p>\n

– Water purification tablets (alas, I doubt I\u2019ll have easy access to my beloved Arrowhead)<\/p>\n

– One pair of Maui Jim sports sunglasses (preferably with one of those landyards that hold them to your head)<\/p>\n

– One baseball hat (can\u2019t have sun in your eyes while you\u2019re fighting the undead)<\/p>\n

– As many MRE\u2019s as I can carry in a light hiker\u2019s backpack (they last FOREVER, my emergency MRE\u2019s are from WWII)<\/p>\n

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Zombie family reunion<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<\/div>\n

Now, I don\u2019t know about you, but I don\u2019t really believe in zombies that are dead people come back to life.\u00a0 I believe in the virus zombies.\u00a0 The kind where a virus gets out of control and infects everyone but the few unlucky immune who are left trying to save the planet and find a cure if they\u2019re lucky.\u00a0 It\u2019s pretty bleak but entirely possible.\u00a0 Just think of how many viruses and bacteria are being worked on, manipulated and created everyday in labs.\u00a0 Think of all the diseases that are mutating in nature.\u00a0 Think of the work being done in nano technology!\u00a0 Any one of these factors could result in a zombie apocalypse.<\/p>\n

[youtube=http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=pxs3tZkgIAk&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3]<\/p>\n

Why swords instead of guns?\u00a0 Guns run out of bullets.\u00a0 Swords don\u2019t.\u00a0 Japanese swords tend to be lighter then their European and Middle Eastern counterparts.\u00a0 For a chick, that\u2019s a good thing.\u00a0 Swords cut off heads.\u00a0 Zombies are hard to kill but it\u2019s universally accepted that cutting off their heads will get the job done.\u00a0 They can be strapped to your back for easy two-handed access in a pinch but are still out of the way while walking and running.\u00a0 They can always be sharpened and won\u2019t jam up when wet.\u00a0 They are easy to clean.\u00a0 They are bad ass.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve got everything but the swords and the grenades.<\/p>\n

I am currently accepting donations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What do you give a girl who\u2019s biggest fear is zombies? Why, two Samurai swords, of course! You may have read any number of zombie survival guides.\u00a0 I know I have.\u00a0 Because hey, the zombie apocalypse could TOTALLY happen.\u00a0 I have nightmares about it.\u00a0 I had one particular nightmare a while back: I was walking […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[398,1111],"class_list":["post-21","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-what-why-how","tag-halloween","tag-zombie"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}