{"id":2415,"date":"2011-12-29T11:50:43","date_gmt":"2011-12-29T19:50:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hotnerdgirl.wordpress.com\/?p=2415"},"modified":"2024-02-28T09:29:45","modified_gmt":"2024-02-28T09:29:45","slug":"cooking-with-hot-nerd-girl-lembas-bread","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/2011\/12\/29\/cooking-with-hot-nerd-girl-lembas-bread\/","title":{"rendered":"Cooking with Hot Nerd Girl: Lembas Bread"},"content":{"rendered":"
Everything looks better with pixels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Well, I’m on vacation\u00a0in New York with a wonky internet connection (hence the lovely pixelized pictures) but it seems I just can’t quit you guys. That’s right, it’s time for another installment of Cooking with Hot Nerd Girl!<\/p>\n

This time around I’m attempting to make Lembas Bread.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Key word: attempting.<\/p>\n

If you don’t know what Lembas\u00a0Bread is then allow me to enlighten you.\u00a0 It’s from The Lord of the Rings by JRR\u00a0Tolkien. It’s made by the\u00a0Elves and given to the Fellowship to feed them on their journey to Mordor.<\/p>\n

First, a disclaimer.<\/p>\n

When I first saw this recipe I got so excited that I only read the ingredients, not the directions.<\/p>\n

HUGE rookie mistake and yet ANOTHER reason why HNG = epic fail in the kitchen.<\/p>\n

At least I had fun while failing<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I wish now that I had tried the recipe on the website<\/a>\u00a0that shows you how to make the leaf wrappings because it fits my idea of Lembas\u00a0Bread better and doesn’t require special machinery that no one but the Italian Grandma down the street could possibly have in their kitchen. Seriously? A\u00a0pizzelle\u00a0press? Give me a break. Plus, the recipe was missing steps.\u00a0 Really, it was just a\u00a0disaster waiting to happen.<\/p>\n

Anyhooters, here is my utterly ridiculous attempt to make Lembas Bread. Now where’s Tosh.0 so I can get my web redemption?<\/p>\n

*side note: keep watching after the credits, I added a little bonus clip at the end.<\/p>\n

[youtube:http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=C8xSpsi0by8]<\/p>\n

–<\/p>\n

So all of you who suggested that I give baking a try…now you know why that’s probably not the best idea.<\/p>\n

Here’s the recipe from The Geeky Chef<\/a>, but again, I suggest you try the other recipe<\/a> first.\u00a0 I think that I will try that other one just so that I can attempt to redeem myself.\u00a0 I’ll let you know how that works out for me.<\/p>\n

\n
Ingredients:<\/strong><\/div>\n
3 eggs1 c. honey3 fruits of the Mallorn tree (kumquats)2 tsp. orange blossom or rose water (optional)<\/p>\n

3 oz. chopped almonds or macadamia nuts<\/p>\n

\u00bc c. melted butter<\/p>\n

2 \u00bc c. flour<\/p>\n

\u00bd tsp. salt<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Directions:<\/strong><\/div>\n

Put the eggs, honey, kumquats, rose or orange flower water, and nuts in a food processor or blender. Blend on high for 2-4 minutes. Add 1 cup of the flour. Blend for a minute or two. Put mixture into a bowl and add the remaining flour and the salt. Whisk or stir until well blended. Bake lembas\u00a0on a pizzelle or iron about 15 seconds each or until lightly brown. Cut into desired sized pieces. Wrap in a leaf and tie with a string!<\/p>\n

I smile whenever I'm plotting the demise of people who come up with stupid and incomplete recipes.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Previous installments of Cooking with Hot Nerd Girl:<\/p>\n

Butterbeer<\/p>\n

Ambrosia<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well, I’m on vacation\u00a0in New York with a wonky internet connection (hence the lovely pixelized pictures) but it seems I just can’t quit you guys. That’s right, it’s time for another installment of Cooking with Hot Nerd Girl! This time around I’m attempting to make Lembas Bread.\u00a0 Key word: attempting. If you don’t know what […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25,5],"tags":[215,523,578,595,959],"class_list":["post-2415","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cooking-recipes","category-fantasy","tag-cooking-with-hot-nerd-girl","tag-jrr-tolkien","tag-lembas-bread","tag-lord-of-the-rings","tag-the-geeky-chef","post_format-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2415","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2415"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2415\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2415"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2415"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hotnerdgirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2415"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}