Hot Nerd Girl

Month: September 2010

  • X-Men Series II = greatest trading cards ever

    It might shock you to learn this.  But I was, at one time, the owner of a complete set of X-Men Series II trading cards.

    It’s true.

    I also collected baseball cards, because like any self-respecting tomboy I played baseball, not softball.  Softball is for chicks.

    But Series II was my most favorite set of any kind of cards I ever collected.  (I know this sentence isn’t grammatically correct and yet I choose to type it that way anyway. Deal with it).  The Fleer Ultra series was OK, but it just didn’t have quite the same magic to it.

    The tall, narrow type on top.  The dramatic action shot below.  The statistical data on the back.  They were pure perfection.  I even had the cards from the cartoon series with the film strip border.  They were great as reference material or for just sitting down and reading.

    And then one day my brother stole them.

    He also collected baseball and X-Men cards.  It was something we did together as loving siblings.  We would walk up Country Club Lane to the comic book store and buy them and trade them.  We also went through a pog phase but try not to hold that against us.  I kept my cards in the same navy blue binder in nice segmented card protector pages on a shelf in my bedroom.  They never deviated from that spot and I never took them outside.  At some point my brother lost a few.  I remember thinking, damn, that sucks for him, at least I still have all of mine.

    The next time I pulled my binder out, the ones he happened to be missing were now missing from my binder.

    WTF.

    I took mine back.

    He stole them again.

    Little shit.

    This went back and forth for years until he finally hid them where I couldn’t find them.  My brother, my own flesh and blood, saw fit to steal and hide my own X-Men cards from me and had the gall to claim that I had stolen them from him.  As if.  This is the kid who opened up his Superman death comic when he was explicitly told not to and the kid next door had a perfectly good opened one he could have read instead.  And he accused ME, who won’t even open the Star Trek Christmas ornament box?  Psssh.

    I never did find my X-Men cards after that.

    So I stole his star ships.

    Three beautiful Enterprise models, the Enterprise NCC-1701, NC-1701 refit and Enterprise NCC-1701-D.  All beautifully hand painted by our Dad.

    What?  He didn’t appreciate them anyway.

  • Red shirt, blue shirt, gold shirt, no shirt

    Oh captain my captain, what has time done?

    Now there’s a Dr. Suess book I could get behind.

    Poor, poor redshirts. They never stand a chance.

    If I was a gal going in to Starfleet Academy in the year 2267, I would request a job that required a blue or gold uniform.  Why were the redshirts always the first to go?  I could give you the technical answer about how red uniforms are worn by Engineering and Security personnel and one or more of them would be required to go on away missions to protect the Captain or go in first to investigate.  But let’s be honest.  It’s the “black dude dies first” rule but since Star Trek is so enlightened they had to find another way of going about it.

    You know it’s true.

    At my first Star Trek Convention in San Francisco we were treated to some short films produced by fanboys.  One of them (and by far the most popular) was one about redshirts.  I don’t know if this was the exact one but it is equally as humorous:

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3cL1Aofy90&fs=1&hl=en_US]

    The term “redshirt” has embedded itself in pop culture.  Anyone expendable is now a redshirt.

    Personally, I like to think about how Ensign Ricky would have felt about all this.  I’m sure his mama would be proud that her brave young son will always be remembered for taking one for the (away) team.

    By 2364 the red and gold uniforms had been swapped. I think this was a good move.  Red is more regal and commanding than yellow is.  It demands respect.  The Next Generation understandably didn’t want to become a joke by continuing the redshirt joke.  But they still needed a way to show that the bad guy was bad without killing off the main characters (Tasha Yar being the exception, but hey, she wanted out).

    *bitch slap* "Don't you know who I am? I am the borg! Resistance is futile, A**HOLE!"

    This is where The Worf Effect comes in to play.

    Worf is the biggest and most badass of the good guys so if a bad guy can throw Worf across the room (which they often do) they MUST be really bad!  Of course, Worf is a Klingon so he never really gets hurt (they leave that to falling cargo containers – far more deadly than the Borg apparently – but wait! He’s got back up organs!)

    So the goldshirt never really took off like the redshirt did.  Which is probably for the best.

    The blue uniforms have always been for Medical and Science personnel.  Let’s face it.  They are far less interesting.  Sure Dr. Crusher and Councilor Troi were hotties but Crusher covered hers up with a lab coat and Troi ditched hers altogether after the first two episodes in favor of cleavage.  If it wasn’t for Spock, the blueshirt wouldn’t even be purchased by fanboys for ComicCon and Halloween.  It’s a fact.

    And lastly, the no shirt. Made famous by Captain James Tiberius Kirk.  Whichever Orion slave girl made his uniforms had an ulterior motive because there is no reason for his uniforms to fall apart at the seams during every episode while everyone else’s stay intact.  Even while battling Spock in “Amok Time” Spock’s uniform manages to stay in one piece while Kirk’s is ripped to shreds.  I’m not complaining, I’m just saying that shirt shredding should be equal opportunity amongst all of the handsome men…

    …and maybe some of the women.

  • Twitards Unite

    A couple of years ago I got into a LiveJournal argument with a fellow poster’s friend (arguing online is the BEST) about whether or not Bella was just another sullen teenager and Edward was an abusive boyfriend.  She claimed Stephenie Meyer’s writing was bad for teenage girls because it is sexist, that Bella and Edward were terrible role models, and that it would encourage boys and girls to emulate them.

    Her first mistake: assuming that boys care about Twilight.  Very few of them do and the ones who are into it won’t be beating up their girlfriends if you get my drift.

    Her second mistake: assuming that all teenagers aren’t sullen.  Uhmmm…all of the ones I’ve known are, at least part of the time.  It’s a genetic right of passage.  Besides, the girl has been uprooted, has to make all new friends and lives in a town that’s gloomy and overcast all of the time.  Put yourself in her shoes bitch.

    Her third mistake: she hadn’t bothered to read the final book and had no plan to do so.  So, without getting the full story she formulated a concrete opinion about it and decided she wasn’t going to be convinced otherwise.

    Brilliant.

    Stupid people exhaust me.

    I’m not saying that she’s not entitled to her own opinion, I’m just saying that she should get the whole story before she formulates said opinion and then starts fighting with people she doesn’t know about it.

    Or am I just talking crazy?

    Is this the photo(shop) of a crazy person?

    Here’s why I think she is wrong…

    Edward and Bella, with their “no sex before marriage” policy, sure are bad role models for teenagers, aren’t they?  Of course Bella kinda wants to do it, she has raging teenage hormones and her boyfriend is mega hot (in an ice cold kinda way).  If and when I ever have a teenage daughter *shudder* I hope that her boyfriend has the same respect for her that Edward has for Bella.  Not that I want potential future daughter to get married right out of high school or anything but it would be nice if she waited until then to start doing the deed.

    Regarding the whole Edward the Abuser bullshit argument.  I take real issue with this.  Bella may be whiny but she certainly stands up for herself.  Edward never once attacks her physically or verbally.  Pushing her away from a charging Jasper is not abuse.  It’s panic.  Keeping her from a friend he feels is dangerous is not abuse.  It’s concern.  I love Jacob to death but she does tend to get injured when she’s in La Push.  My boyfriend’s would have been concerned as well and not wanted me to hang out with him.  Nevermind the fact that he IS a relatively volatile young werewolf who has had trouble controlling himself around her.  I will admit that the whole breaking her heart thing in New Moon really sucked for her but everyone has gotten dumped at one time or another and it’s just one of those shitty parts of life.

    The sexism.  Yeesh.  Where do I begin with this one??  It’s not like she keeps her trap shut.  She definitely speaks her mind whether she’s confident about what she’s saying or not.  LJ Girl’s biggest argument was that Bella is always the victim and Edward always has to save her.  First of all, how is that different from most of the stories out there?  Guys are constantly saving the damsel in distress.  Second, if she had bothered to read the last book she would have known that the tables turn and Bella ends up being all bad ass and saving EVERYONE.  Yep, that’s super sexist all right, having the chick be the one who saves the day.

    Twilight is like Harry Potter in that it has gotten kids to read books.  You know, those things made of paper with words in them that seem to elude Generation Me.  Anything that can do that is great and wonderful with me.  I personally love the books and will totally cop to being a Twitard.  They aren’t as juicy as the Sookie books or as well-written as HP but Stephenie Meyer has a way of drawing you in and not letting you go.  Hemingway she is not but there is something magnetic about her stories and her characters that keep me coming back for more.  She’s also sold more than 100 million books worldwide in 37 languages and was the biggest selling writer of 2008 AND 2009.

    So suck on that LJ Girl.

  • Icheb the Borg Boy asked me out…

     

    Sad emotocon…

    And then never called me.

    It was 06 APR 2002 at the Star Trek Convention in San Francisco.  I was attending with an ex-sort-of-boyfriend and fellow nerd.  Even though I have been an avid Star Trek fan since birth, this was my very first convention and I was uber excited.  I found my way downstairs to the celebrity and vendor floor and after buying a celtic ring (I know, way random) ended up at Manu Intiraymi’s table where he was having a spirited conversation with a fan in full uniform.  I had a question for him (can’t for the life of me remember what it was) so I sort of listened in on their conversation and looked through the photographs of him and Jeri Ryan spread out on the table.  He kept glancing at me.  I wasn’t in uniform; however, I was wearing my communicator and several Star Trek pins.

    Finally the uniformed fan stepped away and I turned to ask him my question.

    Borg Boy beat me to it.

    MI: “So, are you here with your boyfriend?”

    HNG: “Excuse me?”

    MI: “Girls like you only come with their boyfriends who are into this stuff.”

    HNG (looking incredulous): “No, I’m not here with a boyfriend.  I’m a Trekker.”

    MI (looking incredulous): “Are you serious?”

    HNG (getting pissed off): “Yes, I’m serious.”

    MI (looking stunned): “Huh.”

    Don’t let the hat fool you. He’s cute.

    I then proceeded to ask him my question and we spent about 5 minutes engaged (heeheehee) in a nerdy conversation regarding some aspect of playing a Borg on TV.  I asked if I could get a picture taken with him and he said yes so I ran back up to where my friend was waiting and grabbed my camera and headed back down.  I popped in a Listerine Pocket Pak because, well, one always wants fresh breath when confronting the Borg.  Uniformed Fan was back so we had him take the picture.

    MI: “What’s that great smell?  Is that gum?”

    HNG: “No, it’s a Listerine Pocket Pak, want one?”

    MI: “Sure.”

    I then proceeded to explain to Borg Boy and UF the virtues of Pocket Paks for those who can’t chew gum due to TMJ…Paks must have been relatively new to the market or something because they listened with rapt interest and declared that I could be a spokesperson for them.

    Whatever.

    The conversation turned to Borg Boy’s upbringing by hippie parents and how his parents still live here so he comes to visit a lot.  He asked if I wanted to hang out sometime when he was in town.  I said, sure, why not?  He asked me for my phone number. (UF is watching this with his head moving back and forth like it’s a tennis match).  I wrote down my number and gave it to him.  He put it in his wallet with a promise to call me and take me out to dinner.

    Whatever.  I’m not holding my breath, fresh as it may be.

    I walked away and UF followed me, rambling on about how cool it is that I got asked out by a Borg.  Yeah, it’s cool I guess.  I finally ditched UF and headed back to my friend/ESOBF.  I tell him the whole story and he can’t even believe it.  WTF?  Why is it so hard to believe?  YOU asked me out.  Geez.

    Anyways, it’s a good thing I’m somewhat cynical because I never did get a call from Borg Boy…

  • Malcolm Reynolds…shiny…

    If only it were real…. *sigh*

    Malcolm Reynolds…

    Even the name is sexy.

    I’m a Star Trek fan, I know a sexy Captain when I see one.  As much as I heart Jean-Luc and his perfect bald head, he’s not exactly a “bad boy” and y’all know we girls love us a bad boy.

    Mal is someone you can love and hate simultaneously.  Smoldering in one instant and frightening the next.  He’s unpredictable, he’s sweet, he’s handsome, he’s loyal, he’s tortured.  He’s intelligent but he talks like an idiot.  He was rocking the quirky half-smile long before Edward entered the nerd lexicon.  He can take care of and protect you.  He’ll take a beating for you.  He has an amazing sense of humor.  He is bilingual (yeah, yeah, I know everyone speaks Mandarin in Firefly, but whatever).  He’s the kind of guy you want to fix.  But then you don’t because he wouldn’t be so sexy if he wasn’t so complicated.  He’s not uppity like Simon, not stupid like Jayne, and not married like Wash (God rest his soul)

    In short, he can throw me up against the wall anytime.

    I suppose I’m a little biased when it comes to Firefly.  I love sci-fi and I love Westerns and Joss Whedon was kind enough to combine the two.  But mostly it’s because I had a totally awesome experience in 2004.  My Popi is a Foley Artist for a major motion picture company and his sound stage just happens to be next to the largest stage on the lot.  When I didn’t feel up to exploring, and got bored of watching them fake walk and jostle clothes, I would peak in to see what they were doing next door.

    Do you like’m bald or brunette?… I can’t decide…

    The Summer of 2004 was a turning point for me.  I had just graduated from college and was trying to figure out what to do with my life and how to go about doing it.  It was decided that I would begin apprenticing Foley under Popi (it didn’t stick and I left to explore other avenues).  Me, and the granddaughter of Mr. Foley himself, would hang out at different parts of the studio and watch people work.  One day we struck up a conversation with the construction foreman in the studio next door and he invited us to come in and see what they were building.

    It was Serenity.

    Almost fully completed, getting the final paint touch ups.

    I walked up and down the main corridor.  I hung out on the bridge and talked about the construction with the people working on it.  I sat in Wash’s pilot seat.  I could have died and gone to nerd heaven right then and there.

    I wish I had a picture of it to share with you guys but, alas, it didn’t occur to me to ask and I doubt they would have permitted it even if I had.  Movie studios tend to be mighty anal about that sort of thing.

    While standing on Serenity, I could totally picture Kaylee shouting from the engine room, Jayne cleaning off his weapons in the mess hall, and Mal walking towards me with that brooding look on his face.

    Inara can just gorram butt out, dong le ma?

    “Uhhhhhh hi Burt. Didn’t expect to see you here.”