Hot Nerd Girl

Month: June 2012

  • Lucky 13: Maxim’s Hot Nerd Women of 2012

    Normally this post would have come out right after the list was announced as it did last year. However, this has been a crazy busy Summer and I just spent 2.5 weeks in New York helping to take care of my two nieces. In short, I’ve had very little free time.

    Better late than never, right?

    Maxim recently came out with their list of the 100 hottest women in the world and, like last year, I felt it was my duty to whittle the list down to the most nerd-worthy. What I call the Lucky 13.

    Let me tell you, writing this blog is really tough sometimes.

    For the sake of fresh blood, I’m not putting any repeats in my 13. So if they were on the list last year they’re going to have to settle for an honorable mention.  Those delectable women include: Christina Hendricks, Zoe Saldana, Ashley Greene, Emma Watson, Scarlett Johanson, Emma Stone, Olivia Wilde, and Olivia Munn. Believe me, it is painful for me to leave them off this list but I don’t want to list the same people over and over again every year. Where would the fun be in that?

    Another special mention goes to Stephen Colbert #69 (of course)…as far as I know, the only man to ever find himself on this list.

    Note: the order they are presented in was Maxim’s decision, not mine.  So don’t go blaming me if the ones you like are further down the totem pole.

    My #13 – Their #97. Kat Dennings

    She tasered my boyfr – I mean Thor and was totally unapologetic about it. That takes balls. Oh, and she’s got a wicked sense of humor and the comedic timing to back it up.

    My #12 – Their #94. Alexandra Breckinridge

    She serviced vampires (in more ways than one) and the inhabitants of a haunted house (in more ways than one). Let’s just say that she’s exceptionally talented (in more ways than one).

    My #11 – Their #80. Stana Katic

    It’s no secret that I’m obsessed with Castle and that’s not just because of the man who plays Castle. People say we look alike. I don’t see it but I’ll take it as a compliment thankyouverymuch.

    My #10 – Their #76. Teresa Palmer

    She’s dated a sorcerer, been suffocated by hair, killed a crapload of Mogadorians and is soon to be the love interest of a zombie. Is there anything this girl can’t do?

    My #9 – Their #67. Rebecca Mader

    Not even Time knows what to do with this fiery red head. She’s loyal to Leonard Nimoy so she’ll always hold a special place in my heart.

    My #8 – Their #65. Cobie Smulders

    It takes an amazing woman to hold her own in a room full of superheroes and master spies. Cobie survived an implosion and an explosion and came up swinging. Well done, Agent Hill, well done.

    My #7 – Their #61. Kristen Bell

    I’m a little biased when it comes to Miss Bell. She graduated from the same little Catholic High School in Michigan that my Dad attended. She always struck me as the nerdy type and I sympathized greatly with her Fanboys character.

    My #6 – Their #35. Yvonne Strahovski

    She couldn’t resist the lure of the nerd she was protecting. I told you there was hope for nerds everywhere.

    My #5 – Their #22. Kaley Cuoco

    Aaaaand another hot chick attracted to the herd of nerd. Kaley and Yvonne even kind of look alike. Think we can convince them to be the blonde bread in a nerd sandwich?

    My #4 – Their #16. Charlize Theron

    Charlize has done loads of sci-fi, horror, and fantasy films. She’s so beautiful that she’s not afraid to ugly herself up for a role. She’s pretty much the perfect woman.

    My #3 – Their #12. Kate Beckinsale

    Quite possibly the hottest vampire ever. For such a tiny little thing she makes a very convincing assassin. She’s about to demonstrate that again, this time on Mars.

    My #2 – Their #10. Adrianne Palicki

    She gave birth to the second coming of Christ, became a Real American Hero and was Wonder Woman for about 2 minutes. Even though the costume sucked I’m still kind of upset that whole WW thing didn’t pan out.

    My #1 – Their #6. Jennifer Lawrence

    This girl stuck a big ol’ cupids arrow in our hearts when she took on the role of Miss Everdeen.  Oh, and she got naked and painted herself blue. All for us. We’re such lucky bastards.

    Until next year, this is HNG signing off.

  • An Out of this World Fair

    I’m back from New York City where I spent an incredibly fun 2.5 weeks hanging out with my two adorable nieces. If you want to see some pictures from NY, check out the “HNG in NYC” album on the HNG facebook page.

    Within hours off stepping off the plane I was drinking Scotch with my Step-dad and Mama Jedi at the Scottish Highland Games and pounding Jager Bombs at the local Irish pub before it changed owners at midnight.

    Tomorrow I’m heading to Colorado for my step-brother’s wedding. It’s a road trip so I’ll be gone for a week (I swear my Summers aren’t usually this crazy busy). It was important to squeeze in as much stuff as possible while I was home in San Diego. That included a trip to the Del Mar Fair with Mama Jedi (yes, I know it’s technically the San Diego County Fair now but whatever. Much like The Murph will never be Qualcomm, the Del Mar Fair will never be SDCF for me). This year in particular struck my fancy because the theme was “Out of this World.”

    The wonders of space with the comforts of sunny San Diego

    It’s like San Diego is welcoming me back with open arms after my 12 year hiatus.

    First things first. They had fried cheese curds. My bulk of Mama Jedi’s side of the family is in Wisconsin where Mama Jedi grew up and I lurv me some cheese curds. However, I’m not convinced that these were real curds. I’m pretty sure they were mozzarella. Weak.

    They were still pretty tasty though

    After that Mama Jedi and I headed straight to the “Out of this World” exhibit.

    This exhibit was super awesome. Y’all know I’m a sucker for anything space-related and this one did not disappoint. I actually enjoyed it more than the “Beyond Planet Earth” exhibit at the American Museum of Natural History.

    I love that this articulated truck is called the Dragon Wagon. You see Marines driving trucks like these up and down the San Diego freeways on a pretty regular basis.

    Speaking of Marines, here are the ones that have been in space!

    Oh look, a spaceship!

    Oh crap, we’re being abducted by aliens! Bad aliens, bad!

    They took us to the moon! Yay! You’re a-okay Mr. Alien Dudes.

    Next time we should probably pack a spacesuit. Just sayin’.

    Time for a trip to my favorite part of the exhibit…

    Mama Jedi loved this kinetic energy silver ball thing but I think the one at the Discovery Science Center is better.

    I’m alive! I’m ALIIIVE!!!

    We got to chat with a couple of guys from the San Diego Astronomy Association. They were super awesome and told us about all of the astronomy events happening in and around San Diego.

    I always get emotional whenever the Challenger or Columbia disasters come up.

    Overall, a great production.

    We then moved on to the Home and Garden section of the Fair.  Everything had a sci-fi theme.

    Some of my favorite rooms (especially this one, it reminded me of my room when I was a kid). Star Wars was well represented.

    Going from the inner exhibits to the outdoor garden area we ran into this guy.

    The outdoor gardens were gorgeous.

    This one was my favorite.

    At this point something totally insane and unexpected happened.  I got recognized. For the first time. In public. By a Sheriff no less! I was so surprised by it that I didn’t even think to get his name or take a picture or something. So, Mr. Sheriff Dude, if you’re reading this, email me!

    Then we headed over to the kid area infield to check out the Area Fifty Fun (see what they did there?) building.

    On the way in we got a good look at the sun. The sunspot we saw was larger than Earth but the real beauty was the solar prominences. Spectacular. Don’t worry, this telescope was all set up to safely view the sun. Don’t go looking into the sun or anything, you’ll burn your corneas, mmkay?

    I like to tease cyborgs by pinching their cheeks. On of these days that’s gonna come back to bite me in the butt, I’m sure.

    They had a pretty decent Star Trek display. Much of which I have at home.

    Star Trek FAIL.

    It turned out to be a fun area for the kidlets filled with animals and toys and all that stuff that kids (and HNG’s) seem to like.

    In the end I left with a new mop, a giant bag of Kettle Corn and my 5th lightsaber (a cheap red one for my nephew to play with when he comes over so he’ll leave my nice ones alone).

    I think the Fair should have this theme every year.

  • Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter reviewed

    Let me start off by emphasizing how much I loved the book Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith. Fun, adventurous, perfectly intertwined with historical fact. It was truly brilliant and inspired.

    Now let me emphasize how much I didn’t like this movie. I almost can’t believe the script was written by my beloved SGS.  I’m kind of at a loss to be perfectly honest.  I saw this with someone who has not read the book. He went in with low expectations and was pleasantly surprised that he enjoyed it as much as he did. I went in with high expectations and was sorely disappointed.

    Warning: I spoil the shit out of both the book and the movie so stop reading here if you don’t want to know what happens.

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34x6m-ahGIo]

    –

    They skipped the beginning of the book. The introduction in which the transcriber (Seth Grahame-Smith uses his own name here which is awesome) of Abraham Lincoln’s journals describes how much this project has cost him but why it was all worth it. For me it’s like leaving Daniel out of Interview with the Vampire. It’s just not the same.

    The entire first third of the book details Abe’s childhood. His relationship with his parents and his sisters, his unstable upbringing, his mother teaching him to read and write and nurturing his love of learning, his illiterate father keeping him on a tight leash and forcing him to work for him for years, hearing the story of how his grandfather was killed, etc etc.  The movie breezed through all of that in about 5 minutes and left out at least 95% of it.  His dad (Joseph Mawle aka Benjen Stark from Game of Thrones) practically came across as a great dad, which he arguably was not.

    The movie had a very strange, ethereal feel to it, like it was filmed through a filter that made everything slightly fuzzy and off kilter. I would like to know if any of the sets were real or if they filmed the entire movie in front of a green screen a la 300 and Sin City. The special effects were kind of weird but kind of beautiful at the same time. I felt like I was watching a video game half the time. Especially during the horse stampede scene.

    Hi Ho Silver!

    Speaking of the horse stampede scene… Up until this point Abe’s fighting skills are relatively realistic (like they are in the book) but when I watched him flip and ride a horse he’d just been pummeled with I literally laughed out loud. When he started running across the backs of running horses and then fell down a cliff and emerged unscathed I threw my hands in the air. Abe’s a tall, scrawny human, not a Goddamn mutant cyborg.

    That’s not to say that every fight scene was completely ridiculous. The party fight scene was spectacularly badass. It was filmed in that same slow-fast-slow-motion you’ve seen before but this time with some epic axe swinging.  The train fight falls somewhere in the middle of the unbelievability scale. It was pretty awesome and definitely demonstrated the power of teamwork.

    What? The bridge is on fire? Do you think we should get off the train?

    Speaking of the train scene… I felt like I was watching The Little Engine That Could. Seeing the train climb up the burning remnants of the bridge I couldn’t help but chant “I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!” in my head over and over again. This entire sequence was obviously supposed to replace the Jefferson Davis burning house scene in the book.

    The guy who plays Abe (Benjamin Walker) happens to be married to Meryl Streep’s daughter in real life.  Wow.  That’s got to be simultaneously awesome and hugely intimidating. No pressure on the acting front there Benji.  Aside from the fact that he has ginormous earlobes (surely those weren’t prosthetics like his nose…right?) he did ok.  Playing someone like Abraham Lincoln has got to be difficult.  He always looked so stoic in his pictures.  How do you interpret that?  I can’t fault him in his attempt. He demonstrated some very impressive axe wielding skills. At 6’3” he has the height. Unfortunately, so do a lot of other men these days. Abe never looked freakishly tall next to, well, anyone.

    Dominic Cooper (aka Howard Stark in Captain America) was given the role I was most interested in seeing, that of Henry Sturges.  Well they certainly frakked that up.  Dominic Cooper was fine, charming even, but they felt the need to change his entire history.  Why??  They could easily have kept it the same and inserted the new characters created for the movie.  The story of his vampiric conversion is 10 million times more interesting in the book and could have taken up the exact same amount of time onscreen. Fail. Also, doesn’t he tell Abe straight away that he’s a vampire? In the movie Abe stumbles across Henry feeding on a rapist and gets his panties all twisted in a bunch. Abe’s a smart guy but apparently he never figured out the whole sunglasses thing. Henry wins the award for the fastest vampire transformation ever. It took, what? 60 seconds?

    I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out where I’d seen Joshua Speed (Jimmi Simpson) before. Then it hit me that he is one of the creepy brothers on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia!  That made me really happy.  In the book Lincoln and Speed are roommates. This (literal) closeness results in a unique lifelong friendship that few, if any, other people shared with Abraham. In the movie it seemed like Speed lived somewhere else and Abe lived above the shop alone. That made me really sad. The whole thing with him betraying but not betraying and his fate on the train was so far off from the book that I have no idea what to say about it.

    Will Johnson (Anthony Mackie) was a character created for the movie. I wasn’t a fan of many of the new characters but I was fine with Will.  It was a little cheesy how he came back as an adult and was suddenly all BFF with Abe. It’s like they split the Joshua Speed character in two and gave half the part to Will Johnson. The way better half. I’m not really sure why they felt the need to do that (Token from South Park might) but I dig Mackie and I thought he did a good job.

    Mary (Mary Elizabeth Winstead from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World) finds out the truth? Huh? Again, not in the book. The first time Abe tells her he’s a vampire hunter is during a picnic. She laughs at him and chides him with an “I thought you were an honest man, Abe!” Hahaha, oh Mary, I see what you did there! Years later she finds his not-at-all-hidden journal and reads it. She gets really angry and screams that he lied to her when actually he did tell her the truth way back when. Ugh. Women.  For some strange reason they decided Willie should be an only child despite the fact that Abe and Mary had two other sons. The whole idea of Mary taking action and leading silver-carrying freed slaves to Gettysburg was completely absurd. If you’ve ever read anything about Mary Todd (including the book on which this movie was based) you’d know that she would become completely incapacitated by her grief. She didn’t even attend funerals. Now, that being said, I liked badass Fake Movie Mary way more than Real Historical Mary. Shooting her kid’s toy sword into his killer’s forehead? Yes please!  By the way, how did she even know that the toy sword was involved??

    I couldn’t find a picture of Tudyk as Stephen Douglas but I thought this picture was an adequate alternative

    Wash! As Stephen A. Douglas! I got so excited when I saw Alan Tudyk that I actually yelped. I couldn’t wait to see more! Then they completely ignored his character. *le sigh* Don’t feel too bad Alan, they didn’t even mention Edgar Allan Poe or William Seward.

    Jack Barts’ (Marton Csokas aka Celeborn in Lord of the Rings) role was seriously expanded and he was missing his missing arm. We also acquired a 5000-year-old vampire named Adam (Rufus Sewell) and his sister Vadoma (Victoria’s Secret super model Erin Wasson). If I remember the book correctly, there is never a clear vampire leader. Ugh. There were so many things that frustrated me about the vampires. Vampires disappearing? Vamps can’t kill their own kind?? Why no black eyes? Why do they have them turning into weird alien predator vampires?

    They skipped the end of the book. The theatre and John Wilkes Booth and the fate of Abe and the hint of what became of another motivational leader. I know that not everyone likes the last few pages of the book but I do and I missed it. Throwing some random bloke in at end was not satisfying for me. I think you can only truly appreciate this movie for what it is if you haven’t read the book and it shouldn’t be that way. I loved the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the last six Harry Potter films despite the fact that they made major modifications to the story.  It can be done well.  In this case it wasn’t.

    Such a bummer.

    1.5 out of 5 Sci-Fives!

  • Star Trek Captains Podcast (Ten Forward)

    This is a very sleep deprived HNG coming to you from New York City. I’m here visiting my nieces and having a great time with them. Unfortunately for me, I usually go to bed around midnight-2:00am California time. Combine my sleeping habits with the time zone change and my body wants to go to sleep between 3:00am-5:00am New York time. Since I’m typically waking up around 8:00am that’s not working out too well for me. 5-hour Energy has become my new best friend.

    It’s time for another podcast with the awesome guys over at World’s Best Podcast and their section dedicated to all things Star Trek – “Ten Forward.” This time around we discussed the Captains from Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager, and Star Trek: Enterprise. It made for a very entertaining discussion, let me tell you!

    Oh, and we recorded this a while ago when I was very sick so my voice is all scratchy and Janeway-sounding. I was also suffering a bit from sick brain so it was difficult for me to put my thoughts together at times.  But considering how awful I felt, I thought I did pretty good.

    Thanks to Mark and Isaac! It’s always fun to talk Trek with you! Listen to the podcast here:

    Or if, as per usual, if the above player takes too long to buffer, just click here to listen: http://tinmanfrisbie.podbean.com/2012/06/04/ten-forward-season-1-episode-2/

    Previous podcasts I’ve joined in on:

    Daredevil

    Star Trek Universe

    Marvel Cinematic Universe

  • “Ask a Foley Artist” – Interview with Dean Minnerly

    HNG and Dean on the Foley Stage at Universal

    As I mentioned on the HNG facebook page, I did an interview with Dean Minnerly, Foley Artist for Universal Studios. I also mentioned that he is my stepdad. Now, I should probably offer a quick explanation because I talk about my parents a lot and it can get a bit confusing because I have 6 of them. I know, right about now you’re thinking wtf? What is HNG smoking? I have been extremely fortunate to have a loving and supportive immediate and extended family that is chock full of some of the most fascinating people you will ever meet. We’re pretty much the definition of a Modern Family.

    There’s my mom (Mama Jedi who’s on here a lot and is the reason I moved to San Diego) and my dad (retired Navy, I talk about him a lot too, most recently in my review of Battleship). They are my rocks and the greatest parents on earth. No one could ever replace them. They divorced when I was in middle school.

    I was pretty young when I started acquiring step-parents (and with them, 9 step-siblings). My dad married a wonderful woman, my stepmom Jeanne, who I adore. My mom was in a decade-long relationship with my stepdad Don (airbrush artist and direct descendant of Davy Crockett) who is amazing and insanely knowledgable about Scottish history. She later married my stepdad Randall who was one of the most wonderful men I’ve ever known. He passed away in October 2010 and was featured in my In Memoriam post that year. Then there’s Dean aka Popi. He’s been an incredibly close friend of the family since I was 6 years old. When my dad was gone on WestPacs he would step in as our father figure when we needed one. He has been to every play, graduation and major event in my life since I was very young so years ago I dubbed him “Popi.”

    These 6 wonderful people make up what I call my “parental units.” It’s more love and support than any one person deserves and I know exactly how lucky I am to have been brought up by this intelligent, funny, and eclectic group. I would not be who I am today were it not for them.

    Apparently it really does take a village

    Now that the explanation is out of the way, here’s a little background on Dean:

    Dean P. Minnerly of Sleepy Hollow, NY (yup, that one, from the stories and movies) descended from the first Dutch families that settled what was to become New York.  Let’s skip a few hundred years.  He enlisted in the United States Army in late 1969.  He excelled in training… went Airborne… recruited out of Airborne for Special Forces Qualification Course.  Served in Viet Nam with 5th Special Forces (Airborne), with 5th Mike Force, II Corps and Recon Team Louisiana (details classified).  He came home and started teaching Tang Soo Do Moo Duk Kwan with the Norris brothers (as in Chuck).  He was educated at the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, VA in engineering and music.  He then returned to active duty with 7th Special Forces in El Salvador/Honduras/Nicaragua and was posted in Panama at the “Banana Boat School” also know as the Jungle Expert Course among other things.  Look up “Green Monster” and you’ll understand.  He separated from the service and moved to California to continue teaching for Chuck Norris in ’83.  His Studio City, CA school had many well known students and their families including the son and grandson of then president, Ronald Reagan.  One of his many students in the film industry introduced him to Foley and that’s how this facet of his life began.  Another of his students was a senior story editor for Star Trek: The Next Generation and got him involved with contributing story, writing and martial arts skills to the show.  He has been at Universal Studios for 18 years and loves it there.

    Originally we were just supposed to get together for dinner and I was going to head back next week to conduct this interview but one thing lead to another and we ended up at Universal driving around the backlot in a golf cart and crashing people’s private tours (they were on Dean’s stage afterall). The next thing I know I’m conducting an interview that I totally wasn’t prepared for. Note to self: write down some good questions and keep them in your wallet. Needless to say, this was very good practice and I’m über glad that my first interview was with someone who won’t hold it against me.

    Here is the bulk of our interview:

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxFyyQVGEpg]

    –

    Since I wasn’t prepared, I only had my camera on me and had limited memory card space so I emailed him some additional questions a few days later:

    HNG: What is it about Foley that keeps you coming back for more?

    DM: Few jobs allow such creativity and allow a person to share with such a wide and diverse audience.

    HNG: How did you meet the Foley family and become involved with the program at Paramount Ranch? 

    DM: Cathi Foley Clark grew up at Universal with her uncle, Jack Foley, and has been his chronicler and biographer her whole life.  She visited me on the stage and we began a friendship.  I had been doing demos at Paramount Ranch for the National Park Service and she brought the whole family out to meet me.

    One of Dean’s many Foley demonstrations at Paramount Ranch

    HNG: You also worked for Larson Studios, how long did you work there and why did you move to Universal? 

    DM: I was with Rick Larson for about 6 years.  I started taking night work on the original Law & Order at Universal and eventually was offered more and more steady work.

    HNG: What is your favorite TV show and movie to have worked on? 

    DM: Presently, my favorite TV show is Grimm.  I did the pilot and all the episodes since.  It’s quite a challenge but great fun!  The most recent movie I completed was Ted for Seth MacFarlane starring Seth as the voice of Ted and Mark Wahlberg as Ted’s real life-buddy with Mila Kunis as Mark’s girlfriend.

    HNG: What is your favorite movie in general? 

    DM: I have so many but Saving Private Ryan has to be close to the top.

    HNG: Favorite TV show? 

    DM: Again, it’s hard to pin down a single show but I’d say shows on History/Discovery/Military/NatGeo channels get the most of my viewing time.

    HNG: You are currently keyboardist for The McGrath Project. How did you meet Gary McGrath and how did that lead to becoming a band mate? 

    DM: Gary needed someone to track on a new album and I was introduced to him by a mutual friend.  The band included Tim Bogert, virtuoso bassist of Vanilla Fudge/Cactus/Beck,Bogert and Appice and Bryan Head, drummer of Foreigner and others.  Gary is a two time Grammy winner.  They liked my studio work and invited me to play live with them and I joined the band. A year and a half later, Ann-Marita Garsed, a solo singer-songwriter sang with us a few times and joined as well.  Many people have been in the band at one time or another including many Hall of Fame players and Grammy winners.

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqmbLCaAQ0E]

    –

    HNG: How did you meet Chuck Norris? 

    DM: I took Pai Lum Gung Fu (not Kung Fu)  when I was around 13 and stayed with it.  I’d just returned from VN and went to the CNKS in Virginia Beach where I was living.  Chuck and his brother Aaron were there and I started over but with past experience, rose through the ranks quickly.  I became an assistant instructor and after testing for black belt, a full instructor.  Continued teaching for them when I moved to CA in ’83.

    HNG: Who is your favorite Director you’ve worked with? 

    DM: I have three… Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard and Tom Hanks.   I haven’t worked with Clint Eastwood but I have great respect for him… F. F. Coppola as well.

    HNG: What kinds of awards have you won for Foley? 

    DM: Emmys and Golden Reels.

    HNG: Who is your favorite superhero? 

    DM: I have to go back to my first… Superman.

    HNG: Your favorite Star Trek Captain? 

    DM: Patrick Stewart for ST:TNG as a single show but William Shatner for Star Trek overall.

    HNG: Your favorite band/musician? 

    DM: Too many but I always loved The Beatles.

    HNG: How many black belts do you have? 

    DM: Depends on the style.  5 in Tang Soo Do, 3 in Hapkido, 2 in Hwa Rang Do, and 1 in Judo.

    HNG: How many ways can you kill a person using pressure points? 

    DM: Pressure points can help healing, can cause great pain, can mediate blood flow but don’t by themselves kill through pressure.  Impacts or impalement at these points may as many are arterial points or central nervous system (nerve bundles) points.

    HNG: How many times has your nose been broken due to martial arts? 

    DM: Three or four.

    HNG: What was your first impression of Gene Roddenberry? Patrick Stewart? The rest of the cast? 

    DM: Gene… a true visionary.  Majel… the ultimate in support and a true comedic actress.  Patrick… an unshakeable Shakesperian mind and demeanor with a musical comedy heart.  Jonathan … powerful and funny.  Michael… intense and the only real pilot of the bunch.  LeVar… studied but impatient.  Marina… meticulous.   Gates… careful and mothering.   Brent… a true performance chameleon worthy of Vaudeville.  Wil… headstrong with an attitude but willing to learn.  Colm… eager to excel.  Denise… demure cowgirl.  Whoopi… outrageous!

    HNG: Who was the most awesome TNG cast member?  The most awful? 

    DM: They were all great but everybody knew who was boss.  Some of the guests could be difficult.

    HNG: You’ve taught self-defense courses before, what’s the single most important thing for someone to remember if they are being attacked? 

    DM: Keep your head and be aware of everything and everyone around you.   Look for opportunity.  Yeah, I know you said one… oh well.

    HNG: You were featured in a Tonight Show sketch with Conan O’Brien. What was he like? 

    DM: The tallest Energizer Bunny on the planet with a very edgy side and sense of humor.

    * * * * *

    I thought it would be fun to let you guys ask him some questions as well since I know from experience that y’all ask some GREAT questions. Hopefully I collected them all, I apologize if I missed any!

    Jake R: What’s a Foley Artist? 

    DM: A performer of sound.  We recreate live sound EFX to picture and sync them to the event portrayed.  The effect may be what you see, more than what you see or different depending on the needs of the client or project. It is named after creator Jack Foley.

    Jack Foley perfecting the art

    David F: How do you get to be a Foley Artist? 

    DM: Apprenticeship.  You must find another artist(s) who will take you on and begin to train you.  If you don’t have the base skills already in you, you won’t make it.  You need precise hearing, athletic skills and timing, the ability to anticipate movement and a working knowledge of the gear used.  Most of us have a background in music, athletics or dance and audio engineering.

    Kevin C: How does one get a job as a Foley Artist (other than being awesome)? Do you just have to be in the know with people in Hollywood? 

    DM: It doesn’t hurt to be connected but your skill as an artist and ability to work with demanding clients at a demanding pace is what keeps you working.

    Stevey M: What is the most fun noise to make? 

    DM: Depends on who’s listening.  If we can make people cringe at the sound, make them laugh or make them sick… we’re happy.

    Craig S: Is it true that the sound of love is a boot stuck in mud, only wetter? 

    DM: Trade secret but if you are familiar with that sound you may not need the answer.

    Paul M: Mick Foley!? 😀 

    DM: No… Jack Foley.  I don’t think Jack ever wrestled.

    Robert N: Axel Foley? 

    DM: Only in Beverly Hills.

    Aaron A: For your “ask a foley artist” interview…. if you want to ask him, what’s the most fun he’s had on a project, or movie or whatever. God I wish I knew a Foley Artist. It just seems like such a cool job to have on a movie or whatever. So random and different.  I’m just ever so slightly jealous you know one. 

    DM: Know one?  She has BEEN one.  She lived with me after SFSU and apprenticed at Universal.  She has contributed to many projects I worked on.

    Andy L: What sound that he has generated was the most different from what the sound was supposed to portray? 

    DM: Depends on the client.  If the real sound is insufficient or the client wants an entirely different sound, we build it.  If it’s sci-fi or fantasy and the visual was newly created a sound will need to be created as well.

    Larry L: How do you get the best recordings of your sounds? What equipment/techniques? 

    DM: Our own skills and abilities and each of us is different.  Different mics and mic-pre’s… absorption and reflective surfaces to create ambience, depth and size.  We’ll use three mics at once… two directional and one elsewhere in the stage to cross-fade and develop the perspective necessary.  Our primary mics are Neumann KMR-81’s with other Neumanns, Sennheisers, AKGs, etc. in the mix.  Our mic-pre’s are GMLs, Focusrites, Avalons, etc.  We record to ProTools and have several sets of near field monitors to choose from with our largest being JBL’s.

    Lisa C: What was the most complex sound he ever created and of what was it composed? 

    DM: Don’t think I can pick just one.  We do a lot of layering and sweetening.  The effect may only last for a few seconds but we many be out a dozen tracks creating all the different sonic facets that alone may be nothing but together make the event live.

    Shannon H: Why do car tires sequel on dirt roads in the movies? 

    DM: People have preconceptions of what things SHOULD sound like regardless of reality.  That group of people includes very well known leaders in our industry.  Even if it’s wrong we will do what’s expected but we will also give alternate tracks of what we think would better serve the event.  That way, on the dub (re-recording/final mix) stage the choices are available.

    Bruce P: What was the most unusual method you’ve used to create the most common sound? 

    DM: A recent one comes to mind..  I did a documentary called The Movement about paraplegics, blind and otherwise disabled people learning or relearning to downhill ski.  One of the effects I created for the clatter of skis on a fast run involved my crushing ice and shaping it into a one by two foot mound… mic’ing it close and overhead and using an empty plastic mustard squeeze bottle to create the clatter, moving toward the mic capsule as the skis closed on the camera and off-angle as the skis moved away.

    Lair of the Nerd: In your opinion, what’s the weirdest thing you’ve used to make a noise, and what noise was it. 

    DM: There are a few.  Here are two:  In slasher flicks we rip lots of guts out.  Take a large watermelon, cut one end off, violently shove your hand in it and twist as you pull it out.  The suction and texture of the melon flesh combined with all the wet works great… it’s absolutely disgusting.  I mentioned snow.  Snow has many textures and sounds.  Squeaky powder is very distinctive.  Garden supply stores have Perlite, often used in potted plants.  Cornstarch is also used.  Pour it into a pillowcase and start walking on it to grind it down.  The squeaks will be there and you won’t freeze your nerd off in the process.

    AK G: Who decides what a fictional sound should be? The director? A writer? The foley artist? 

    DM: ‘D’… All of the above.  In spotting sessions, when everybody sits around reviewing the reels, these things are discussed and the creative people hash out what best serves the scene.  When agreed upon, we have our direction and we go make it happen.

    Todd F: How much celery do you waste on a daily basis? 

    DM: Celery is part of only one food group we abuse regularly.  No fruit, veggie or uncooked critter is safe on a Foley stage.

    Salem P: What’s the foley effect you’re most proud of that you thought up? 

    DM: Whichever one the client wasn’t expecting that gave him/her more than he could have imagined… and that only lasts until I come up with the next one.

    José H: How awesome do you have to be to be HNG’s stepfather? 

    DM: I love her… she loves me.  Nothing else matters.

    One of my high school senior portraits

    Dan G: Do studios have massive Foley libraries that you get to pull from as needed or do they prefer you always start from scratch (keeping it fresh and each movie slightly different)? 

    DM: There are no Foley libraries.  There are libraries we create for EFX editors for them to draw from but we start fresh every time.  It is the inconsistency and imperfection of human and animal movement that make it real.  No two of anything are every exactly alike as are our performances.  Each time we create a sound it will have some variation.  Think of each or our creations as a snowflake.

    Scott D: Universal as in Orlando? 

    DM: Nope… Universal Studios Hollywood.  There is a Universal in Orlando but this is home, first opened in 1913.

    Jay A: He didn’t know Keillor’s effects guy, did he? 

    DM: If you refer to Garrison Keillor’s radio shows, then no.  What they do and what we do is quite different.  They add simple sound components to add color to those programs.  We develop a complete sound package integral to the final product you see and hear in theaters and on TV.

    John G: Does he realize he’s standing next to “HNG”? 😉 

    DM: I do occasionally notice that.

    Marlon B: ‎Can I marry your step-daughter?

    DM: I think some would have a problem with that but thanks for asking.

    José H: Do movie or TV studios force Foley artists to generate a wet-sucking sound for scenes involving the removal of objects from a body part? It seems like that sound is inserted whenever the hero/coroner removes an object from a dead body part… 

    DM: It does come up.  I refer you to my responses to Shannon H. and Lair of the Nerd.

    José H: Serious question: What’s the weirdest sound effect you were asked to create that has absolutely no equivalent in the “real” world?

    DM: I guess the sound of a maggot crawling on a sweater from 15 feet away.  As you may guess it was a head-scratcher.  Since no sound exists in that instance, there’s no reference point and how do you make it distinct enough to get it played?  There are others but that one was a challenge.

    Dee O: What’s the most memorable and or unique sound you were asked to make/record? 

    DM: This is what is known as an “imponderable.”  Each had a quality of it’s own.  Memorable would have me recall the event or circumstance and people involved more than the sound(s) itself.

    Kyle S: Why was there was no Chuck Norris in the Next Generation. That would have been epic……

    DM: Several characters exhibited talents and abilities similar to those of Chuck’s.  At the time, Chuck was so well known he would never be accepted as another character.  Think about it… Chuck has, regardless of the portrayal, always played himself.  His show, Walker, Texas Ranger, also competed with TNG for audience.

    Miki K: What do you think is your most creative sound? 

    DM: The one I haven’t yet thought of.  You are always creating and each is a new challenge.

    * * * * *

    Thanks for your questions everyone! Thanks to Mama Jedi for her superb camera and interview assisting skills. And a huge thanks to Dean for taking the time out to let me bumble my way through this interview and for being such a rad Popi.

    Previous blogs that were mentioned in the video portion of the interview:

    Visiting the set of Serenity

    All of the Star Trek: The Next Generation stuff Dean gave me

  • Snow White and the Huntsman reviewed

    Yeah…probably should have taken this picture AFTER seeing the movie.

    The previews for Snow White and the Huntsman were gorgeous. People morphing into ravens and shards of obsidian, a T-1000 mirror, Charlize Theron bathing in a vat of white paint. All very cool visuals.  So I was super excited to see all of these beautiful shots come together in one stunning example of marvelous movie making.

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebSZOlCnXq0]

    –

    Sadly, I was sorely disappointed.

    That’s not to say it was a bad film, it wasn’t, it just didn’t live up to my high expectations. Each scene is lovely, with superb visual fx, but the transitions between those scenes were awkward and choppy.  The movie didn’t flow. The acting was good for the most part but Director Rupert Sanders seemed much more interested in the quality of acting in the close ups than in the wide shots.  Perfect example is Charlize Theron.  She looked and sounded terrifyingly ravishing in the close ups but cheesy and garish in the wide shots.  This was a bit disheartening for me since she was the main reason I wanted to see this movie and I know just how brilliant she can be.

    Snow White has been reinterpreted countless times since the middle ages. Being German, I grew up with the Grimm’s version in which the dwarves are nameless, Snow is woken up by the Prince’s inept servants as opposed to his kiss, and the evil queen is killed when she’s forced to dance to death in red hot iron shoes. Disney went and fraked that all up. (Fun fact, Dean Stockwell’s daddy voiced the prince in the Disney version. I can’t believe I actually know that.)

    Warning: I try not to spoil things but I might so be warned.

    This version is nothing like the Grimm’s version. The evil queen has a creepy brother (with an even more creepy haircut), the huntsman is a drunk widower (who doesn’t care if he dies…except that he does care), the prince isn’t a prince (he’s the son of a duke), the dwarves live in a fairy land full of psychedelic flora and fauna (and don’t whistle, work or have pickaxes), and Snow White is far more empowered (which is always nice). The giant elk in the forest with tree branch antlers is lovely and obviously supposed to be on the same level as Aslan but the scene where Snow approaches him is a pale imitation of the Lili/Unicorn scene in Legend.

    Charlize Theron as Queen Ravenna is otherworldly. She has a fantastic wardrobe that includes shoulder pads made from bones and lots of raven feathers (get it? Raven…Ravenna….?) She’s great at looking steely-eyed and has nailed the art of letting tears hover just on the cusp of her eye but not letting them fall.  Whoever did her makeup and prosthetics should be nominated for an Oscar because WOW she looked incredible the entire time. Even when she was dying she was gorgeous. It turns out that Ravenna is a total spoiled brat throwing a giant man-hating temper tantrum. Which is really too bad because I bet she’s a wildcat in the sack.

    Kristen Stewart is most definitely not fairer than Charlize Theron but she’s a very realistic kind of pretty and she does look really cute in her girly armor. To be honest, I kind of felt like I was watching one of the Twilight films during her scenes. Jumping off a cliff? Check. Being scared by giant beasts and falling backwards? Check. Having men stare at her while she’s unconscious? Check. Hair stuck to her lip while she’s saying something that’s supposed to be important except you don’t know what she said because you were distracted by the hair stuck to her lip? Check.  As I mentioned before, at least she was an empowered version of Snow White. She wants to fight and kill her evil stepmother…though where she gets the strength to do that after being locked in a tiny tower cell for 10 years with no exercise is a mystery to me. But she’s got help. Birds guide her, horses wait around for her (then nose dive into mud which was HI-larious), and people are eager to help her (when they don’t look like they want to eat her…that was weird).

    My boyfr….I mean, Chris Hemsworth brings his usual charm and comedic timing to the role of the Hunstman aka Eric. I love watching him fight. In my opinion, he’s one of the best movie fighters I’ve ever seen. The chemistry between him and KStew was virtually non-existent but it’s obvious how hard he’s trying to make it work anyway. The part where it was most evident is when he’s talking to a poisoned Snow. Without an acting partner in the way he’s able to deliver a very touching monologue to what he thinks is her corpse.  He’s dirty and muddy for 99% of the movie and somehow that just makes him sexier. God, I love-hate him. I joke a lot about how hot Chris Hemsworth is and, it’s true, he’s insanely hot, but my love for him has much to more with the fact that he plays my favorite comic book character than the fact that he’s deliciousness on legs. I swear!

    I totally thought that young William (aka the non-prince) was the kid who plays Bran on Game of Thrones. But apparently it’s not. Boo. Snow White’s little buddy grows up to be the guy from POTC: On Stranger Tides who falls in love with a mermaid. He was ok. Nothing remarkable. I was more interested in trying to figure out who plays his dad, the Duke. Then it hit me that he was the Captain in 300. I knew I recognized those eyes.

    The dwarves are the best part of the movie, especially when they are penetrating the castle through the sewer system. They are funny, charming, and I want to live in the enchanted forest with them. The most notable are Bob Hoskins, Ian McShane, Ray Winstone and Toby Jones. You can’t go wrong with any of those actors.

    The end of the movie is rather anti-climactic. You think you know which boy Snow is going to choose but they never show her making her decision…and the part where they should have shown her making her decision hangs on in weird movie purgatory for an uncomfortably long time. I wanted to shout at the screen “Stop standing there with your stupid tree branch and go kiss him dammit!” You wait the whole movie for the truly satisfying, sexy kissing action and they never deliver it. Lame.

    The ending credits were beautiful though. Kind of Avengers-esque in that it has the camera hovering over close up shots of armor and swords and whatnot. Because I always sit through the credit crawl (and you should too) I noticed that the movie is dedicated to “Little Eira White” which caught my eye because I happen to know that Eira is “snow” in Welsh.  So the film is dedicated to…itself.

    Well ok then.

    2 out of 5 Sci-Fives!