Well, I’m on vacation in New York with a wonky internet connection (hence the lovely pixelized pictures) but it seems I just can’t quit you guys. That’s right, it’s time for another installment of Cooking with Hot Nerd Girl!
This time around I’m attempting to make Lembas Bread.
Key word: attempting.
If you don’t know what Lembas Bread is then allow me to enlighten you. It’s from The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien. It’s made by the Elves and given to the Fellowship to feed them on their journey to Mordor.
First, a disclaimer.
When I first saw this recipe I got so excited that I only read the ingredients, not the directions.
HUGE rookie mistake and yet ANOTHER reason why HNG = epic fail in the kitchen.
At least I had fun while failing
I wish now that I had tried the recipe on the website that shows you how to make the leaf wrappings because it fits my idea of Lembas Bread better and doesn’t require special machinery that no one but the Italian Grandma down the street could possibly have in their kitchen. Seriously? A pizzelle press? Give me a break. Plus, the recipe was missing steps. Really, it was just a disaster waiting to happen.
Anyhooters, here is my utterly ridiculous attempt to make Lembas Bread. Now where’s Tosh.0 so I can get my web redemption?
*side note: keep watching after the credits, I added a little bonus clip at the end.
So all of you who suggested that I give baking a try…now you know why that’s probably not the best idea.
Here’s the recipe from The Geeky Chef, but again, I suggest you try the other recipe first. I think that I will try that other one just so that I can attempt to redeem myself. I’ll let you know how that works out for me.
Ingredients:
3 eggs1 c. honey3 fruits of the Mallorn tree (kumquats)2 tsp. orange blossom or rose water (optional)
3 oz. chopped almonds or macadamia nuts
¼ c. melted butter
2 ¼ c. flour
½ tsp. salt
Directions:
Put the eggs, honey, kumquats, rose or orange flower water, and nuts in a food processor or blender. Blend on high for 2-4 minutes. Add 1 cup of the flour. Blend for a minute or two. Put mixture into a bowl and add the remaining flour and the salt. Whisk or stir until well blended. Bake lembas on a pizzelle or iron about 15 seconds each or until lightly brown. Cut into desired sized pieces. Wrap in a leaf and tie with a string!
I smile whenever I'm plotting the demise of people who come up with stupid and incomplete recipes.
Previous installments of Cooking with Hot Nerd Girl:
Remember when I told you that cooking was NOT one of my many talents? Well, it’s about to become very obvious to you.
The Butterbeer recipe was the last one we shot so I had kind of gotten in to the swing of things by then (and had a few drinks…ahem). Ambrosia, on the other hand, was the first video we shot and I was neither warmed nor liquored up yet.
I don’t know what it is about cooking that causes all of my smarts to fly right out the window. Give me the newest iphone and I’ve got it figured out within 10 minutes but put a blender in front of me and you’d think I’d just been handed a spaceship. Actually….I take that back…I am absolutely positive that I could figure out the spaceship before I could figure out the blender.
In my defense, the blender is my mothers and I’d never used it before. I know, it’s a pathetic excuse but it’s the only one I’ve got so I’m exploiting it wholeheartedly.
Not only did I not rehearse any of these recipes but, in some cases, I didn’t even read the directions beforehand, only the ingredients.
Oops.
What can I say? I like a little adventure in my life!
On to Ambrosia!
Ambrosia is a fancy shmancy alcoholic beverage from Battlestar Galactica that is known for being pretty potent. I like that it’s bright green, it reminds me of Ecto Cooler aka Slimer Juice. But, you know, for adults.
Mmmmm….green goo….
So without further ado, this is how you make Ambrosia:
Directions
Add all ingredients to the Margaritaville Frozen Concoction Maker pitcher (or, in my case, a blender) and add ice as directed in the owners manual. Makes 36 oz. of delicious concoction. Garnish with a stemmed cherry and enjoy!
I drank a lot of it. Gotta love liquid courage!
PS – the next video will be of actual food, I promise! Well…it would be actual food if I knew what I was doing…
Rod Roddenberry and Trevor Roth of Roddenberry Productions
About 10 days ago I got an email asking me if I was interested in joining Rod Roddenberry at a private viewing of his documentary Trek Nationbeing held for his friends and a few fans.
Uh…does the Enterprise have warp nacelles??
It was not a difficult decision 😉
Rod and his peeps were kind enough to let me bring two guests so I grabbed my Mom and my friend Darcy. The screening was at a sports bar, the irony and hilarity of which did not escape us. But seeing as I’m one of those weirdo chicks that like sci-fi AND sports, it was kind of perfect for me (Go Chargers!)
*sigh* …… jocks….
Rod, his wife and his friends were all incredibly nice. I had so much fun chatting with them before and after the screening. I have a copy of The Continuing Mission that I’ve been collecting signatures in for years. I asked Rod if he would sign it and he said he would be happy to. He then proceeded to sign it up in the corner explaining that he wanted to leave the main area open for the big signatures of the big stars. He’s very humble and almost in awe of the role fate has given him. Instead of exploiting it like so many other children of Hollywood, he has funneled this opportunity into his environment and science-based Roddenberry Foundation. He’s big on scuba diving and has become passionate about protecting Earth’s oceans. Just this past October the Roddenberry Center for Stem Cell Biology and Medicine at Gladstone was inaugurated, helping to pave the way for all of those advancements in medicine that make Star Trek such an idealic version of the future. Y’all know I love it when people help each other.
Rod picking out his place in the upper left corner
I’m sure that many of you have seen Trekkies and/or its follow up Trekkies 2. If not, you should. I am ridiculously good at poking fun at myself and I think that most of the world is far too PC so I can appreciate the comedic portrayal of the more “out there” fanatics of Star Trek. While that is all well and good and has its place in pop culture, Trekkies is severely lacking representation of the rest of us (i.e. the people who DON’T dress up and sing folk songs as the wife of the dead astronaut in “The Royale.”)
Eugene “Rod” Roddenberry set out to change that, to show us Trekkies and Trekkers as the beautiful and highly intelligent individuals that we are. A group of fans joined together by arguably the greatest science fiction franchise of all time and a man most of us have never met. Somewhere along the line the focus changed and, while the aspect of “normal” Trekkers was still vital, it also became a documentary about Rod’s journey to discover his father, a man he hardly knew himself.
My Dad was away on Westpacs a lot while I was growing up so I can empathize with what it’s like to feel like you don’t know your Dad but I can’t even begin to fathom what it must be like to lose your father at age 17. Close or not, losing a parent cannot be easy at such a vulnerable age.
Rod was very brave in wanting to know everything about his Dad, the good, the bad and the ugly. I mentioned some of these triumphs and tribulations in my tribute back on October 24th but Trek Nation goes infinitely deeper. Over the course of 10 years Rod interviewed dozens of people about Gene Roddenberry, from fans who idolize him to former co-workers who felt very bitter towards him. The one common thread between them all was that they got it. They understood Gene Roddenberry’s vision and, in many cases, fought for it. Watching Rod go through this whole process is touching and his humility when faced with his father’s greatness is endearing. It’s obvious that this was a true labor of therapeutic love, not just for his parents, but for Star Trek and the fans so that we too can understand the imperfect human behind the Great Bird of the Galaxy.
At the screening Rod mentioned that they only used about 5% of the footage they shot (10 years worth, remember?) and I’m hoping that the DVD has much of what ended up on the cutting room floor. I could easily watch 12 more hours of this. The decades worth of footage and the natural shifts in focus result in a documentray that feels totally organic and never forced. At one point in the editing process the test audiences felt that there was too much emphasis on Rod and so they shifted it back to Gene. The sheer volume of material allowed them to tweak it to perfection. The subject matter isn’t always pretty but it’s always pure. One of my favorite parts of the documentary is the montages of the costumed Trekkies. The manner in which they are filmed is simple yet stunning. Trek Nation is ultimately a love letter to them.
Something tells me that Gene Roddenberry would be proud.
If you haven’t seen Trek Nation yet, it’s airing on the Science Channel Dec 28th and 29th.
I decided a while back that I should at least TRY to learn. And if I was going to risk setting my kitchen on fire then I wanted to do it while making food that sounded appealing to me and what’s more appealing than food inspired by Star Trek?
Mmmmmm….Gagh…..
So I got out my Star Trek cookbook and thumbed through all of the recipes until I found some I thought I could pull off. I told a friend what I was doing and he suggested I film my attempts for posterity.
Uff da.
THEN I saw International House of Geek’s Thanksgiving post and the recipe for Lembas bread and decided to try recipes from several different franchises. Really, I just wanted to try the Lembas bread. I explored The Geeky Chef and between the Star Trek cookbook, IHOG and Geeky Chef, I found 5 recipes to try. One entree, one bread, and three beverages.
I showed the rough edit of the first video to a family member and her first reaction was: “It’s obvious you don’t know what you’re doing.”
It’s true. I don’t.
So feel free to laugh at my cluelessness in the kitchen.
Up first, my new favorite Holiday beverage: Butterbeer!
Directions
Combine condensed milk, butterscotch topping, and butter in a glass heatproof measuring cup. Heat in microwave for 1 minute. Remove and stir until butter has melted and incorporated into mixture. Meanwhile heat cream soda in another heatproof measuring cup for 1 minute 30 seconds. Divide butterscotch mixture between 2 (10 to 12-ounce) mugs. Fill mugs with heated cream soda and stir thoroughly. Serve garnished with a cinnamon stick or an old-fashioned butterscotch candy stick.
Enjoy!
I sure did!
Look for more Cooking with Hot Nerd Girl videos in the very near future!
A while back (maybe September?) I posted on the Hot Nerd Girl facebook page that I was having a hard time figuring out how to organize all of my Star Trek stuff in my office. The fans
a) thought it was a really great problem to have
and
b) demanded pictures.
I promised I would take some once it was all done. I’m still searching for a few of my smaller posters but it’s done for the most part. Just in time for Christmas and all of the relatives coming to town 🙂
So here are the pictures I promised as well as some background on some of the items. Sadly, about half of my collection is in storage in Idaho (had to put in somewhere when I went to college) so hopefully someday I can run up there and bring it all back down to SoCal.
This is my whole office area aka my little slice of heaven aka where all the magic happens. I infiltrated the area above the TV as well. Because I could.
Yes, I interrupted my game of God of War III for you.
1. The Posters
Regarding the posters: the one on the right you’ve probably seen me gushing about on the facebook page because my picture (and some of yours as well!) is part of the mosaic. I finally got it framed and hung up which was no easy task since it had to hang over the giant monstrosity that is the entertainment center. The Spock poster I’ve had since middle school and I literally took it with me everywhere I moved. That’s 13 moves and 13 walls it has hung on. He’s been one of the few constant companions I’ve had and I find his presence very comforting.
No matter what I did I couldn't prevent the reflections on the glass. Sorry.
2.The lifesize Worf
I got my lifesize cardboard cut out of Worf from my step-uncle. He used to keep it in the coat closet. When visitors would come over and hang up their coats they’d get startled by Worf and usually scream at which point my step-uncle would laugh and laugh and laugh. It was my kind of prank. When he retired and moved he passed Worf down to me.
My own personal Chief of Security
3. The Autographs
I’ve got quite a few autographs, including several in a Star Trek: The Next Generation book. Of these four I got three of them in person: Nichelle Nichols, Michael Dorn, and Marina Sirtis. The Majel Barrett one I got while she was alive but was no longer appearing at conventions. I heart her so much that I bought it anyways. I wish I had met her. I did meet her son, Eugene “Rod” Rodenberry Jr. at a convention in 2002. He was a nice guy.
Super awesomesauce
I came upon my World Premier of Voyager cast autographs via my cousins best friend. She worked on the series and knew I was a big fan so she gave me her Voyager cast photo some years back (did I mention that she’s now one of my fave peeps on the planet?) It’s kind of hidden behind my Tribbles because I have so many damn stuffed animals.
If you don’t know their name, just call them “Robert” and chances are you’ll be right
4. Data and the Holograms
My Data bust was a High School graduation present. In the past he sat on my bookshelf with all of my Star Trek books…of which there are way more than I care to admit….but he now has a place of honor on top of the entertainment center. I have an insane love for this bust and I’m not really sure why. I guess I was seduced by how ridiculously awesome it is. The picture on the left is a hologram (see below) and the picture on the right is of me, my brother and my nephew at the Star Trek Exhibition in Riverside (California, not Iowa).
Spinerfems ftw!
For my birthday a few years ago my friend Hayden took me to Star Trek: The Tour down in Long Beach and bought me a hologram picture of us being “beamed.” I wish I had access to this technology because I would take SO MANY holographic pictures.
Hey Scotty? How about throwing in a couple of Romulan Ales when we reach the surface? Cool?
5. The Mousepad
This may seem like just a mousepad BUT it actually holds a lot of significance for me. I got it when I went away to college. Why is that important? Well, because I went to school in San Francisco because it’s the future location of Starfleet Academy and I wanted to be as close to Starfleet Academy as possible. And yes, I am completely serious. In addition to my university diploma, I also have a Starfleet Academy diploma and a Kobayashi Maru certificate (signed by William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy no less). This is a prime example of why I consider myself a Nerd/Geek/Dork combo.
Yes, I'm THAT big of a nerd.
6. The Ships
My Dad is a total perfectionist and I adore him for it even though it meant I couldn’t leave my homework out as a kid. When he does something, he does it perfectly. When we were kids he bought 3 Star Trek models and painted them. The two smaller ones have been lost for years but the largest one, the Enterprise NCC-1701-D is alive and kicking.
Thank God for invisible thread
I have another NCC-1701-D that is 2 feet long but it’s one of the items up in storage.
My Dad also gave me my Star Trek mobile. It’s a little faded after all these years but it glows in the dark and I love it.
If I ever have kids this is what they have to look forward to
7. The Scripts
I am very lucky in that I’ve been surrounded by amazing people my whole life. I also refuse to put up with a-holes so maybe that has something to do with it too. One of the areas in which I’ve been very blessed is my parental units. Through divorce and random circumstances I’ve ended up with six parents. One of them is Dean Minnerly aka “Popi.” (Literally) one of the most kick ass dudes I’ve ever known. He works in the technical side of the entertainment industry and, as a side job, was a contributing writer on The Next Generation for the first two seasons. One of his biggest contributions? Helping to kill off Tasha Yar.
What’s that? You want proof? Ok. Go to Netflix and turn on “Skin of Evil” (you know, the episode with the giant tar monster that kills her). At the very beginning of the episode Tasha and Worf are talking about Yar’s upcoming martial arts competion. Worf asks who she is competing against. He dismisses her first competitor, saying that she will defeat him easily. Then she mentions that she’ll be fighting Lt. Minnerly next and Worf gets worried. That’s right folks, Dean (who is a martial artist in real life) wrote himself into the episode.
Epic win.
Sadly, he did all of this just before he came into my life so I never got to participate in the TNG awesomeness, but he did give me an extremely rare cast jacket, several scripts, and some HI-larious stories.
Ok, time to go back in the safe.
Aaaaaaand on that note, I think I’ll stop there. There’s more I could show you but that would make for a VERY long post. Don’t worry all you non-Trekkies, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Thor, Transformers, etc. etc. are also represented here albeit in a much smaller capacity.
I’ve had nightmares about you for the last four nights in a row.
Not cool.
It’s all your fault, you know. You draw me in with your compelling story telling, make me fall in love with you all over again, and then scare the living daylights out of me. What the hell is your problem anyways?
Lately you’ve been teasing me. You haven’t been rearing your ugly head very much so I think I’m safe. Then all of the sudden you show up at the pharmacy, or in the barn, or at the bottom of the well. Seriously, you had the worst prune fingers I’ve ever seen. It was disgusting. You should really take better care of your personal hygiene.
But I digress.
I’m starting to get worried here. You scare the crap out of me, I leave, and then I come back for more. What in the sam hill is wrong with me? You even tried to help me out. I couldn’t find you at first but eventually I hunted you down. Now I’m convinced that I need therapy.
And yet, here I am, huddled on the couch, covering my eyes half the time while you bitch and moan but don’t really say anything meaningful. Your communication skills are seriously lacking, did you know that? Sometimes I can differentiate between a moan and a groan, but most of the time its like you expect me to read your mind. Well guess what? I can’t. Learn to deal with it you stupid walker. And the way you deal with children is seriously fucked up. Poor Sophia.
I don’t know what to do. I should probably never speak to you again but I know that’s not going to happen. I just really want to know where this relationship is going to end up and I hate having friends tell me what you’ve been up to. I want to find out for myself.
God I hate you so much sometimes!
But I also love you.
*sigh*
You suck.
Sincerely,
Hot Nerd Girl
Photo by Meghan Roth; Zombification by Brett DeWall www.dementeddreams.com